Sunday, February 18, 2007
The green past
A step back in time for me last week. Ah! how I had longed to go to my beautiful Chickmagalur. Things haven't changed a lot, maybe just the way I look at them. It striked me for the first time what I had been missing all these
Indya and freedom
I have grown up all these years to belive, that I am a proud Indian,a true patriot. I now realize that I should have stopped once in a while and asked myself "What am I patriotic about?", "What is this India that I am proud of?". It trulybaffles me now to think that a boundary, a thin line of demarkation can seperate two people into believing in completely different set of ideologies. Surely I am not proud of this piece of land they call India.
So may be it's not the geopgraphy, but the people, people of India, my fellow country men that I am truly proud of. Hmm..let me see. What differentiates other people form my country men? We get angry, sad, happy and at times crazy just like others do. We follow relegion, sometimes fanatically, enjoy art may be of varying tastes, food ...anything..same there too. May be we get angry a little less than others..that's why we are still taking whatever is thrown at us by the politicians..which is hardly anything to be proud of, but this will be a entirely different topic. Coming back to the original issue.. why is it then, that I am proud of my country men?
And then it hit me, it's not what we do, but how we do it, that makes me feel that I belong here. It is the Indian culture that I am truly proud of. Yes that may be the answer I am looking for. But I have seen just too many things here to make a fan of our way of life. Sure we have a lot of things that cannot be praised enough, but we have some problems, some huge problems that just cannot be overlooked, and definetely cannot be prided upon.
So maybe I am not 100% proud of my culture, I may just be used to it. So what I truly feel, after all the emotion and the sentiments drain away if we are left with pure reasoning, we are not proud Indians, we are just Indians, living in this country, used to this place, the people and the culture.
But emotions are a good thing , and I am still a proud Indian. May be not so much as to vouch for my country for everything, but to feel happy once in a while and be thankful to everything good that this place has given, and may be it's the culture here that teaches me, to be truly happy just concentrate on the good things :).
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
What if we are wrong?
"Caught you!!! You rascal ...Where do you think you are running with the chain?"
"But I was just checking to see if it was really worth the price..."
"You didn't have to do it 200 meters from the place, you thief".
"Here we go again", thought Ahmed.
For him it was a befitting culmination of a month gone wrong. It seems like just nothing he did was turning right these days. Well he will have a lot more time to contemplate over this in jail now.
For a long time now he had been wanting to get into serious business. These small things were just not enough to make ends meet . "I should be doing something bigger, something more profitable, play with the big boys" he thought. He even tried peddling drugs for a while in Colaba. But soon realized that things were not turning out as he thought it would. Caught by these ever greedy police men, the devils in Khakis he called them,, he was left all by himself even by those, he thought would be with him in life or death. Well he knows now!
First time in jail was hell! A small 8X8 concrete block with metal bars as doors,
the only window was 8 feet high on the wall, even if it were a little lower it would have taken him several weeks to make out that it was window, with the glass almost looking like a concrete slab. "Men were not meant to live like this" he thought. He had to get out of there and fast! But drugs are serious business! Once this gets to court there is no escape! So it took him his hut in Dharavi, and endless pleading with his kaka in Malad to finally get out of there. If only he knew that it was not the last of it.
With things not going as planned in the "serious danda", he came back to his bread and butter job. But it's amazing what a dented confidence can do to you! Things he could do with his eyes closed, now feel like lifting a 50 Kg stone slab. No wonder he hasn't had a success in one month, and now back in jail which does not feel that bad anymore, he wondered! What truly am I here for? Is it worth continuing this way?
How can I solve this torment for ever? He knew that there was only one path he could take...He slowly felt his sock for the knife that he had hid.
He opened his eyes to a sea of white. Looked like there were clouds till the eyes could reach and nothing else. This was not like Mumbai in summer at all. He was scared, there was no one around him, you keep a man thirsty years and then leave him in a pool of water and this is what happens to him. Sometimes you choke on too much freedom!!
Then two gentle hands touched him and lifted him into a serene place. He had seen something like this in a Shah Rukh khan movie once, but this was much better. In front him amidst all the beauty was a graying man who looked like he never had a single worryin his life.
He took him by the hand and told him " Welcome to heaven!! I am glad to provide you with one the most sought after suites we have here, for all the service you have done,to rid people of their miseries. If only you had been a little better in the last month, you could have got one identical to mine ".
He couldn't believe his luck!!! After all they said about him definitely going to hell on earth, this!! "Oh! Thank you!! Thank you God". He looked around his new place, it seems like he had everything he would ever need here. He lied on to thank
his god and when he opened his eyes he knew he belonged here..
"But I was just checking to see if it was really worth the price..."
"You didn't have to do it 200 meters from the place, you thief".
"Here we go again", thought Ahmed.
For him it was a befitting culmination of a month gone wrong. It seems like just nothing he did was turning right these days. Well he will have a lot more time to contemplate over this in jail now.
For a long time now he had been wanting to get into serious business. These small things were just not enough to make ends meet . "I should be doing something bigger, something more profitable, play with the big boys" he thought. He even tried peddling drugs for a while in Colaba. But soon realized that things were not turning out as he thought it would. Caught by these ever greedy police men, the devils in Khakis he called them,, he was left all by himself even by those, he thought would be with him in life or death. Well he knows now!
First time in jail was hell! A small 8X8 concrete block with metal bars as doors,
the only window was 8 feet high on the wall, even if it were a little lower it would have taken him several weeks to make out that it was window, with the glass almost looking like a concrete slab. "Men were not meant to live like this" he thought. He had to get out of there and fast! But drugs are serious business! Once this gets to court there is no escape! So it took him his hut in Dharavi, and endless pleading with his kaka in Malad to finally get out of there. If only he knew that it was not the last of it.
With things not going as planned in the "serious danda", he came back to his bread and butter job. But it's amazing what a dented confidence can do to you! Things he could do with his eyes closed, now feel like lifting a 50 Kg stone slab. No wonder he hasn't had a success in one month, and now back in jail which does not feel that bad anymore, he wondered! What truly am I here for? Is it worth continuing this way?
How can I solve this torment for ever? He knew that there was only one path he could take...He slowly felt his sock for the knife that he had hid.
He opened his eyes to a sea of white. Looked like there were clouds till the eyes could reach and nothing else. This was not like Mumbai in summer at all. He was scared, there was no one around him, you keep a man thirsty years and then leave him in a pool of water and this is what happens to him. Sometimes you choke on too much freedom!!
Then two gentle hands touched him and lifted him into a serene place. He had seen something like this in a Shah Rukh khan movie once, but this was much better. In front him amidst all the beauty was a graying man who looked like he never had a single worryin his life.
He took him by the hand and told him " Welcome to heaven!! I am glad to provide you with one the most sought after suites we have here, for all the service you have done,to rid people of their miseries. If only you had been a little better in the last month, you could have got one identical to mine ".
He couldn't believe his luck!!! After all they said about him definitely going to hell on earth, this!! "Oh! Thank you!! Thank you God". He looked around his new place, it seems like he had everything he would ever need here. He lied on to thank
his god and when he opened his eyes he knew he belonged here..
Friday, April 7, 2006
Tuesday, April 4, 2006
Money Honey
"Needs "....to summarize in one word how the world has evolved so far. From the uncomplicated need for food of the early man, to the need for the most sophisticated technology of the more recent one's, we have come a long way. But all along, the change of path has always been defined by the changing needs. Kings went to conquest in need of new lands to rule, Saints went in search of new religion in need of spirituality, Politicians in search of people, farmers in search of food, traders in search of commodities to satisfy the needs of others in turn to satisfy their own financial needs. Before we could realize it..we had a huge variety of needs, in a huge society. Just when things began to get a little confusing, the human genius comes into play with the invention of money. Now we have the means of fulfilling all our needs by/for a single universal need. But when a simple invention is done, the improvisers and the people who thrive on complicating things can not be left behind.. And so is the case with money. Over a period of time political, geographical, psychologically factors have caused the division of money, so much so that sometimes now it stands to oppose it's very existence. If not anything else money has brought in all the things that generally associated with the not so good times of human history.
Behind all the bureaucratic sweet talk, the diplomacy, the sophistication and all the classy things it wouldn't an exaggeration to say that money exists. How did things get so messy? All I can think of is that it is the very human nature of trying to improve on things..which has so often given us some of the real great things in life ..has also resulted in some very unpleasant things. Mostly because if there is one new thing , there will be a hundred ways in which people will look at it and interpret it. In case of things that have gone horribly wrong, the view that interpreted it will usually be the one which is way off target and also the most powerful. Many a times and this is especially true with autocratic systems, one mistake made by one person has been dealt with by many generations later on. Although a situation like this is more difficult in a democratic system, it is certainly not an impossibility. Worse still is the pace of decision making in democratic systems that would even test the patience of a saint.
Do we have a solution to all this? Do we have one answer that would lead to a fool proof, ever lasting joy on earth. I hope not. Because as long as there are problems, there will emerge opportunities for thinkers and doers to raise to what they were meant to be. Also all our lives will be less dull and more colourful when you have something to fight/confront/solve. Although it would help us a great deal if all of us made a sincere effort to lessen them a bit.
Behind all the bureaucratic sweet talk, the diplomacy, the sophistication and all the classy things it wouldn't an exaggeration to say that money exists. How did things get so messy? All I can think of is that it is the very human nature of trying to improve on things..which has so often given us some of the real great things in life ..has also resulted in some very unpleasant things. Mostly because if there is one new thing , there will be a hundred ways in which people will look at it and interpret it. In case of things that have gone horribly wrong, the view that interpreted it will usually be the one which is way off target and also the most powerful. Many a times and this is especially true with autocratic systems, one mistake made by one person has been dealt with by many generations later on. Although a situation like this is more difficult in a democratic system, it is certainly not an impossibility. Worse still is the pace of decision making in democratic systems that would even test the patience of a saint.
Do we have a solution to all this? Do we have one answer that would lead to a fool proof, ever lasting joy on earth. I hope not. Because as long as there are problems, there will emerge opportunities for thinkers and doers to raise to what they were meant to be. Also all our lives will be less dull and more colourful when you have something to fight/confront/solve. Although it would help us a great deal if all of us made a sincere effort to lessen them a bit.
Monday, May 23, 2005
Here I am
Here I am. Yet another crossroad. Still looking at the path that brought me here, not knowing how I came, not knowing where I will go. The haziness amazes me, but it still feels like I don't want go anywhere anymore. Time used to be much slower than this once. Four years I have walked this path. These were not the golden years, nor did it show something that I have never seen before, no...it must be something much more than this. Yes, these were the four years of my life. Where do I look back?, what do I look back at?, the gates are shut forever. But I have grown richer, fuller and more complete and I can look forward. Not afraid anymore, just unsure.
Thursday, December 30, 2004
Thought flows like a river
Beginning is important, holding on is everything. It appears that there is an ever-growing enemy within, trying to subdue the taste of satisfaction. The gaze remains fixed on the non-happening. After all it seems, having is not as important as showing it. This is a struggle, struggle to be the desired substance, of having what is always desired. Losing or winning were not much different until now. Events move along hand in hand with time…dragging one with them and sometimes back to the beginning, only this time it is too familiar to relate to. Who is better? Me or this world? There has to be a place, where the answers are all there or is my vision too blurred to see them? Direction changes at every step, where am I headed? Success is an aura, that is the undying guide and happiness is the final fruit. It is an attempt to find dynamics in the unmoving, to find the end of this circle. The base has to be the strongest part of the structure. It’s a desire to build the kingdom of the living on this. The kingdom where purity is indispensable, where the core is solid and surface golden.
Open space, breeze of fresh air, undying spirit drive the truth of existence. Are we driven farther away from this with the ticking clock? Shackled are we with these chains, never ending chains getting tougher every time we try to break free. Complications abound ….everywhere. I will celebrate simplicity in its simplest form. Come out and see, the open space, breeze of fresh air……
Open space, breeze of fresh air, undying spirit drive the truth of existence. Are we driven farther away from this with the ticking clock? Shackled are we with these chains, never ending chains getting tougher every time we try to break free. Complications abound ….everywhere. I will celebrate simplicity in its simplest form. Come out and see, the open space, breeze of fresh air……
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